Naked Chess
by T Achelle Cullen
Summary: "I am SO going to kill Alice once we get home!" A story of chess, naked vampires and milk. A little OCC.


So, most of my stories will be one shots. Just like this one is (ha-ha). I am, however, working on an actual STORY with long chapters and stuff so please be patient with me

Disclaimer: I own three pianos but S. Meyer owns Twilight and everything related.

"Come on, Edward."

"No, Bella."

"Please?"

He looked at me like he was trying to win, but he knew it was to no avail. Anytime I said "please" to him, there was an automatic yes coming soon after.

"Fine," he sighed and kissed my forehead. "But if I win, you have to be a cheerleader for the upcoming school year.

"Ok, deal!" I squealed as I rolled out of bed. It had been six years since my transformation, and I have loved every minute of it, but sometimes things get a little boring. That's why I asked Edward to play me in a game of chess. This wouldn't be just any regular game of chess, though. If I win, Edward has to run ass naked through the grocery store while drinking a gallon of milk.

Edward and I got up and made our way to the kitchen where Alice had already set up the chess board.

"Please explain to me why you guys are doing this," she said when we sat down. "You are VAMPIRES and the only thing you could find to do was make a bet on a game of chess?" We both chuckled at how much emphasis she put on the word vampire. "I've seen how this is going to turn out, and I hope both of your asses are prepared for it." She walked out after she finished her sermon.

As soon as Alice left the room Edward and I died laughing. "We'll see who's going to have the last laugh," Alice said as she made her way up the stairs.

"Did you see what she saw, Edward?" I finally got out after the laughter had died down.

"Nope. She was visualizing what she and Jasper had for "desert" last night so I wouldn't keep looking." Edward shook with disgust as he said the last part. "I'm sure it's not as bad as she says though. She probably would just prefer we go on a shopping trip than stay at home."

"Maybe," I responded. I was a little uneasy about what Alice said, but I forgot about it as soon as Edward made his first move.

After three hours of playing, I had done it. I beat Edward at a game of chess and it was time to pay up.

"Oh Edward, my love," I whispered in his ear as I climbed on his lap and sucked his earlobe into my mouth. "I'm sorry for kicking your ass that bad!" I then jumped off his lap and skipped around the table.

"Bella, I know somewhere deep down inside of that beautiful soul of yours, you are telling yourself that you really don't want me to go through with this," he said, pulling me into his lap and nuzzling my hair.

"Oh baby, now that I think about it, you're right. I don't want all those women staring at my man's, well vampires, sexy, god-like body."

"So, you'll choose a new dare for me?" he asked with the sweetest little pout on his full kissable lips.

"Nope!" I said back, popping the "p" at the end. "I'll just deal with it." I kissed his lips and skipped up the stairs. It was moments like these where being a vampire came in handy. If I would have tried to skip up the stairs in my human days, I would have tripped over a line in the wood and ended up with a broken foot. No one takes you serious when you have a broken foot.

Edward begged me all day to change my mind, offering up some things that made me think EXTREMELY hard. In the end though I stayed strong and told him no each time, even though it was so difficult. When nighttime finally arrived and everyone had made it back home I knew it was time.

"Hey guys," I said from the living room. I didn't need to yell since everyone could hear me, you know, super sonic hearing and all that shit. "Edward lost in a game of chess and has to run naked through the grocery store while drinking a gallon of milk."

Edward groaned while everyone else laughed.

"Bella, dude, how'd you beat Edward in chess? I've been trying for so long." Emmett asked.

"He can't read her mind, dumbass." Rosalie responded with a smirk on her lips.

"Plus, you scream all of your moves in your head when we play, Emmett. It's like you forget I can read you mind," Edward chuckled.

"Good job, Mom!" Nessie said as she gave me a high five.

"I'll get the camera," Jasper said after shaking his head in Edward's direction.

"Grandma! Grandpa! Are you guys going to come watch Daddy run naked?" Nessie said as they finally entered the room.

Carlisle chuckled. "No, sweetheart. Esme and I are going to stay here and hold down the fort."

"Grandpa. We're in Alaska. More than an hour away from where the people live. What's the worst that could happen? Our house gets attacked my killer penguins?" Nessie replied.

"Yes," Esme laughed as she playfully pinched Nessie on the arm, "and we have to make sure we're ready if and when the killer penguins decide to attack."

"Alright you guys," Edward said as he stood up and grabbed the keys, "Let's get this over with, please."

We all walked to the garage and got inside of the jeep. I didn't really pay much attention to the evil smirk Alice had on her face the whole time, but I wish I would have.

A little more than an hour later we made it to the first grocery store we saw. It actually was a Wal – Mart, but it can still serve the purpose. Edward pulled into a spot way in the back where there were no cars or lights.

"Ok. Jasper, there will be no taping of this get that idea the fuck out of here," Edward said as soon as he shut the car off. "Bella, you need to go buy some milk, love."

"You are so smart baby," I said as I pinched his cheek and jumped out of the car. "I'll be back."

I ran in and bought the first thing of milk I saw. "I hope vampires aren't lactose intolerant," I muttered to myself as I walked out the store.

When I arrived back to the car, Edward was standing in those sexy boxer briefs he knows I love. "Having second thoughts, love?" He asked with a hopeful grin on his face.

"Not at all," I said as I unabashedly stared at his half naked body.

Edward grabbed the milk from my hands and put his clothes in its place, and we all walked with him to the door. All of us except Nessie, that is. She decided that she'd rather watch the jeep than watch Edward get naked.

"Ok," Edward said as he pulled off his underwear once we were at the door, "here goes." And there he most definitely went. Edward ran through that store in all his naked glory while chugging the milk. I was laughing so hard at him dodging the mall cops that I didn't notice when A) everybody left me there and B) the cops caught Edward. When I finally opened my eyes, I was standing in front of a very tall, very upset mall cop.

"Oh shit," I said as he grabbed my coat and pulled me into the store.

We came up to Edward sitting on a bench with a towel wrapped around his body, being guarded by two huge men.

"Do you know this man?" Tall, angry cop number one asked me.

I pretended to stare at Edward like I was trying to figure out who he was. "Hmm, he seems familiar."

"Bella!" Edward stared at me with an expression of pure shock on his face.

"Ma'am, we do not have time for foolishness. Do you or do you not know this man."

"Yes I know him. "

"Good. Take them both in." He said to huge cop number two. "And put your damn clothes on boy."

Then men escorted us to a room in the back of the store.

"So why am I being arrested?" I asked when we sat down.

"You are accessory to a crime."

"How do you figure that?"

"You are holding his clothes."

"Maybe these aren't his."

"You were laughing at him."

"I was laughing at something I heard a few days ago."

"You said, 'Edward, oh my GOD you are fucking killing me. Please stop making me laugh so hard'."

"Cops aren't supposed to curse."

"Kids aren't supposed to run naked."

"Touché."

Edward sighed and shook his head as the cop called our "parents". About an hour and a half later, Esme and Carlisle showed up with looks of mock disappointment on their faces. The officer took them into another room.

"Bella, were you going to say you didn't know me?" Edward said with a little whine in his voice.

"Of course not baby!" I said, pretending to be hurt at such a suggestion.

Edward took his clothes from my hands and started to put them on. I turned myself fully around in my chair so that I could have a great view. Watching Edward put his clothes on made me hot, so when he finished I attacked his lips. After a few minutes we heard a throat clear and let go of each other.

"C'mon kids." Carlisle said. "Thank you for everything, Officer."

"No problem. But next time I won't be so lenient."

We all walked to the car in silence, but as soon as we got in we laughed extremely hard.

"I am SO going to get Alice when we get home!" I said through my fits of laughter. This is why I love my family.

**Please review!**


End file.
